Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent

For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time. Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of depression to the divorcee can be overwhelming. This is reflected in the Christmas surge of suicide rates. The feelings are that much more intense if there are kids involved. I truly learned that the biggest gift you can give the people around you, especially your kids, is your own survival. That's what they'll always remember.

Here are some helpful tips for you if you are facing the holidays as a newly-divorced or separated parent:

Step 1 - Do not be alone.

You have to reach out and ask for support, from family, friends or whomever. If things get really bad, the Suicide Crisis Line is always there to re-assure you.

Step 2 - Know you are not alone and connect with other people in your same circumstance.

I took some classes at a local university in the town to which I relocated after the abusive breakup of my first marriage. Although I was there to get my teacher certification, I met several people over the next year, male and female, who were in the same boat as I was. I did meet one special man, whom I dated for a few years.

Step 3 - Do not feel guilty.

Your kids are enjoying two Christmas celebrations instead of just one. What kid wouldn't love that?

Step 4 - Give to charity or volunteer at the Food Bank.

This really helped me realize that even in my pain and sadness, I still had food and a home. There were people much worse off then I was.

Step 5 - Don't be so hard on yourself.

From the time we were kids, the Christmas season commercial frenzy creates a ton of expectations in all of us. During divorce, with your own kids jumping between houses, those expectations become very difficult if not impossible to maintain. This compounds the feeling of being a failure because you cannot emotionally keep pace with the joy you see around you.

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